Hello, it's me, your pet peeve.

Rewind 10 years ago, some one asked me what my pet peeve was. After saying pardon for what seemed like the 77th time, i offered up the only solution i could come up  with at the time, i let out a nervous, high pitched, laughter, crossed my fingers and  toes  and hoped for the best. Thankfully, i now know what a pet peeve is.  But, if you are like me of approximately 10 years ago and you don't know what a pet peeve is, let me  do the honourable  google thing by giving you a brief definition. A pet peeve is something you find ridiculously annoying, something that gets on the nerves of your very last nerve, something that winds every fibre of your being up, and finally, something that makes you want to punch an imaginary annoying person in the F$%cking face.

If you haven't guessed  the subject of my blog for today, you may be in for a mildish surprise. Today, folks, i'll be  writing about a  certain pet peeve of mine. Here goes. You know when you decide to take a Facebook personality test because you are forever  dedicated to knowing you better  than you already know yourself  or because you have searched but couldn't find anything better to do with your existence. Yes, i decided to take a Facebook  personality test for  both the the later and the  former reasons.  

The personality test itself was 64 questions long. This must be the grand god father mother of all personality tests, i thought to my self  as i diligently went through all 64 questions. I am very sure i will never have to take another personality test after this, because this test will  definitely tell me all i absolutely need to know about my self and beyond.  In my opinion, i answered the questions as honestly as i possibly could. I mean,  how else am i suppose to get an accurate assessment of my true personality if i choose a policy of dishonesty. 64 questions later, i was done and ready for the big revelation. This sadly is where things took a turn for the worst. After i clicked on the submit button, I was swiftly directed to a link which said that to get the results to my test i had to first give them access to the following information:

My Facebook profile, my contacts,  all 16 and half of my email addresses,  my bank account number and sort code, my address and telephone number, my mother's maiden name, my other mother's maiden name. my great grand mother's maiden name,  4 references in chronological order, names of all the people I've had sex with, age and address of all the people i intend to  have sex with, my national insurance number, my mother's maiden name form my previous life, my next of kin, my kin of next, my blood group, my blood type, a list of  all my  allergies-both know and unknown, a list of everything i did last summer,  my date, place and time of birth, date of embryofication (whatever that is), my marital status, the marital status of the guy who lives at number 44 on my street, password  and username for my amazon. shpock and eBay account, the last time i had sex and how long it lasted for, the average time i spend thinking and talking about sex, what I've had for breakfast for the last ten years, what brand of toilet roll i use, how many times i wake up in the night to have a wee ( which by the way is nil. I find that the very last thing i don't want to do is interrupt my precious sleep just to have a wee.  No way Jose. I'd rather wake up in a pool of my own piss than wake up in the middle of god knows what time of the night to have a wee.) and of cause a list of all my pet peeves.

Needless to say, i am never going to find out what type of awesome and wonderful  person i am. I will never know whether i am a passive aggressive narcissist,  an active aggressive narcissist or a plain old digestive biscuit in need of a cup of tea ( two sugars, please). If only i had the courage to give out all those lengthy yet convenient details about myself, i could be sitting here with a brand new perspective on who i truly am. This would have no doubt catapulted my consciousness to astronomical levels of enlightenment and also  projected my whole being to a higher level of awareness.

Oh well, i will try not to allow myself  slip into a a self induced depression.  Lets  be honest, who needs personality tests anyway?  i don't know about you, but i am absolutely fine with what i know  about myself, which is not a lot, to be frank.

copyright of YCMuzan